Teachings from the Epic Ramayana on How to Love Someone
The Epic Ramayana weaves together tales of true love that transcend time and space. They teach us valuable lessons on how to love someone. Among these tales, the stories of Kaikeyi's selfless love, Hanuman's simplicity, Bharat's sacrifice, all illustrate the deep-rooted nature of true love. True love does not seek anything from the beloved, rather it is anxious to always give.
True Love is selfless – Kaikeyi gives her all to Lord Ram
At the heart of the epic Ramayana is a narrative that is often misunderstood - the story of Queen Kaikeyi, whose actions led to Lord Ram's exile into forest instead of getting coronated as the king of Ayodhya.
Kaikeyi is known as an evil character in Ramayana who plotted to send Lord Ram into the forest for fourteen years. However, based on the revelations in the writings of some saints, the reality is quite different. Far from being a story of malice, Kaikeyi’s story is an illustration of the fact that true love is sacrifice, which was carefully crafted as the divine play (Leela) of Lord Ram.
Ram asks Kaikeyi's help for His exile to forest
Kaikeyi, who held her stepson Ram dearer than her own sons, was in fact selected to be the instrument of Ram’s exile into the forest. Legend has it that back in the day, when Ram was still a teenager, he asked Kaikeyi, "Do you really love me?"
Kaikeyi said, “More than anything else!”
Ram then asked, “I need you to do something for me, will you do it?”
Kaikeyi said, “Whatever you ask?”
Ram said, “Whatever I am going to ask will be disastrous for you. You will lose your husband and your sons will separate himself from you.”
Kaikeyi asked, “What is it that you are going to ask?”
Ram replied, “There are many saints and devotees like Shabri who are waiting for me in the forest. I also need to vanquish the demons. So, I need a reason to go into the forest, and I want you to be the reason for it.
When the time comes, I will inspire you and you will create the situation which will force me to leave Ayodhya and go live in the forest.”
Kaikeyi replied, “This is most terrible, but if this is what you want and makes you happy, I am willing.”
Kaikeyi starts preparing to ask for Ram's exile
The decision did not come easy for Kaikeyi, knowing that she would be despised by all the devotees of Lord Ram for eternity. Nevertheless, Kaikeyi then started distancing herself from Lord Ram, else it would be difficult to carry out this awful act, even though it was Lord Ram’s wish.
Kaikeyi's intellect is influenced deliberately
And at the right time, the celestial gods assisted in fulfilling this will of Lord Ram. They influenced Kaikeyi’s intellect such that she got driven by anger and the manipulation of her maid Manthara. She used two boons granted by her husband Dasharatha and demanded for her own son Bharat's coronation as king and Ram's exile into the forests for 14 years.
This love is characterized by a willingness to prioritize the needs and happiness of the beloved above one's own reputation and comfort. Despite being aware that her reputation would be forever stained, she still fulfilled Lord Ram's wish. It is rare for parents to give their daughters the name Kaikeyi. Kaikeyi’s story serves as a lesson on how to love someone and demonstrates what is true love.
Simple Love – Mighty Hanuman wins Ram’s Heart
The story of Hanuman and the sindoor (English: vermillion) offers a lighter, yet equally profound, lesson in simple love.
It is a customary ritual to present sindoor to the deity of Hanuman during worship. What is not commonly known is that this ritual holds a deeper significance and story.
Ram, Sita and Lakshman return to Ayodhya
Following the battle with Ravan, Lord Ram, Sita, and Lakshmana finally started their journey back to Ayodhya, accompanied by Sugriva, Vibhishana, and Hanuman.
The news of their comeback after fourteen long years filled the people of Ayodhya with joy, and everyone started preparing for a grand welcome of their beloved Lord Ram, Sita and Lakshman. Lord Ram was crowned as the King of Ayodhya in a grand ceremony.
Hanuman stays back in Ayodhya
Eventually Sugreev and Vibhishan returned to their respective kingdoms. Hanuman decided to stay back in Ayodhya as he could not bear separation from his beloved Lord Ram even for a moment.
While in Ayodhya, Hanuman spent his day serving Lord Ram and His family. Mother Sita was touched by Hanuman’s love and devotion for Lord Ram and treated Hanuman like her son.
Hanuman sees Sita putting sindoor (vermillion)
One morning, Hanuman went to Ram and Mother Sita's room like always to get their blessings before starting his duties. He noticed Sita applying sindoor to her forehead as he entered the room. Out of curiosity, Hanuman asked Mother Sita why she had applied sindoor to her forehead. Mother Sita explains to Hanuman that Lord Ram is greatly pleased by the application of sindoor. Upon hearing this, a splendid thought began to form in his mind.
Hanuman is missing
In a little while, Lord Ram started setting himself up for his court appearance. Nonetheless, his dedicated companion, Hanuman was mysteriously absent.
Feeling amazed, he started making an inquiry about Hanuman's whereabouts, as it was exceptionally uncommon for Hanuman to be away from his Lord Ram for such a long time. Everyone began searching for Hanuman, but he was nowhere to be found.
Hanuman shows up but all Red
After a long wait, Hanuman finally showed up and made an appearance. It was quite astonishing for everyone to see Hanuman undergo a transformation, as he had changed into a vibrant red color.
Lord Ram asked him – “What is this?”
Hanuman explained – “Mother Sita adorns her forehead with sindoor every day. She told me you are very pleased when we put sindoor. So, I have decked myself with sindoor from head to toe!”
Hanuman gets a boon
Lord Ram was utterly delighted and pleased with Hanuman’s simple love. He blessed Hanuman and granted a boon that anyone who worshipped Hanuman with sindoor would get Ram’s blessing as well. From that point onwards, devotees commenced the practice of adorning the deity of Hanuman with sindoor to receive the blessings of both Lord Ram and Hanuman.
Hanuman, known for his immense power and wisdom, is revered worldwide with people chanting Hanuman Chalisa to seek his divine protection. However, Hanuman delights Lord Ram with simple love. The ritual of applying sindoor to Hanuman's deity is a constant reminder of how to love someone with simplicity.
Love is sacrifice – Bharat Rejects Kingship and Leads an Austere Life
The Ramayana epic is replete with stories of selfless love, but none compared to Bharat's, which exemplifies the fact that love is sacrifice for the happiness of the beloved.
Bharat comes to know about Ram's exile
When Bharat came to know that his mother Kaikeyi misused her boons to get Ram exiled, he was devastated. Instead of getting crowned as the king of Ayodhya to fulfill Kaikeyi’s second boon, Bharat rushed to meet Ram in the forest. On the way he carried Ram's sandals on his head as a symbol of Ram’s rightful kingship.
Upon meeting with Ram, Bharat begged him to return and rule Ayodhya. He argued that Ram's exile was unjust, and that the people of Ayodhya yearned for their beloved prince.
Ram asks Bharat to return to Ayodhya and take charge
However, Ram urged Bharat to lead Ayodhya in his absence and reminded him of the significance of honoring their father's wishes. Understanding Ram's purpose, Bharat consented to govern Ayodhya, however just as a guardian.
Once he returned to Ayodhya, Bharat places Lord Ram's sandals (Charan padula) on the throne and administered the kingdom with most extreme nobility, ensuring that everything stayed as it was until Ram's return.
Bharat lives like an ascetic
Bharat decided to live in Nandigrama, a small village on the outskirts of Ayodhya, rather than the illustrious palace. He embraced the way of life of an ascetic, resting on the floor, and eating simple food. He always remembered Lord Ram while fulfilling his duty as the caretaker king of Ayodhya.
Despite his personal suffering, Bharat remained a pillar of strength for the kingdom and its people. Bharat's actions throughout Ram's exile exemplify what is true love as well as an unwavering dedication to upholding righteousness. Bharat's selflessness and dedication to service was not a grand spectacle but a quiet and continuous devotion.
In Conclusion, the narratives of Kaikeyi, Hanuman and Bharat in the epic Ramayana are not just stories; they reveal for us what is true love. They teach us that love is sacrifice and love means to give unconditionally to the beloved.