Searching for Contentment

Contentment in life is difficult to define and even more difficult to exemplify. This is because it is an internal state that cannot be quantified, only experienced or realized. 

Contentment is a state of experiencing inner satisfaction with life. Contented people are those who have accepted their life in the way it unfolds. They find beauty and joy in mundane things as well as in communion with nature. Their inner joy is not dependent upon fulfillment of material desires, but on finding a sense of peace and calm from knowing their place in the universe and accepting it as a way of life. Contented people derive inner satisfaction from life experiences, whether it is from helping others in need or being comfortable with their own sense of self. They appreciate and feel grateful for what they have in life, and live to their maximum potential as parents, family members, friends or colleagues. 

What is the Meaning of Contentment in Life? 

The spiritual meaning of contentment has to do with feeling internally satisfied with whatever circumstance is presented to us through our karmas (Bhagavad Gita 10.4-5). Swamiji explains that contentment does not come from increasing our possessions, but by decreasing our wants. Those who do not perceive material objects as the source of pleasure, feel contented with whatever is bestowed upon them as divine grace (Bhagavad Gita 12.13-14). This concept is related to accepting God’s will and not desiring anything against His will – two aspects of intellectual surrender to God. 

There is a spiritual principle about what we should and should not feel contented about. We must feel contented with our spouse, wealth, and the food we get to eat because these are material in nature. However, it would be a big mistake to feel contented about being a devotee of God/Guru, the extent of our devotion, the amount of seva done, contributions made to charity, and our scriptural knowledge. These proclivities are bestowed upon us through causeless divine grace, and contentment may lead to arrogance or complacency. Rabindranath Tagore was such an accomplished writer, yet he acknowledged God for his achievements and took the blame for the blemishes in life.

Contentment can lead to long-term happiness, but pursuit of short-term happiness may not lead to contentment. Those who possess the wealth of contentment, possess one of the biggest treasures of life (Bhagavad Gita 2.71). Lord Krishna told Arjun that for those who feel contented from within, the gain comes on its own because the outcome is in accordance with His will. Contentment in life allows us to perceive success and failure, fame and infamy, praise and criticism as non-different from each other. 
 

यदृच्छालाभसन्तुष्टो द्वन्द्वातीतो विमत्सर: |
सम: सिद्धावसिद्धौ च कृत्वापि न निबध्यते || 22||

yadṛichchhā-lābha-santuṣhṭo dvandvātīto vimatsaraḥ
samaḥ siddhāvasiddhau cha kṛitvāpi na nibadhyate

Content with whatever gain comes of its own accord, and free from envy, they are beyond the dualities of life. Being equipoised in success and failure, they are not bound by their actions, even while performing all kinds of activities (Bhagavad Gita 4.22).

In general, whether from a worldly or spiritual perspective, contentment in life also comes from not attaching one’s mind to the results of our actions. For example, doctors and nurses treat scores of patients each day, may do their best in delivering care, but at the end of the day, they “leave” their patients at the hospital instead of carrying them home in their minds. While they too may mourn the loss of patients, it does not consume their lives due to relative detachment. Contentment in life is about finding a reason to live and looking forward to life in spite of challenges.

Why do we Fail to Experience True Contentment in Life? 

We are inundated by advertisements and fantasies created by industries that try to sell dreams of the perfect life or the ultimate recipe for happiness. These generally include luxurious lifestyles, travel to magnificent locations, or pursuing unrealistic goals. Those who equate happiness with contentment, feel a sense of loss when they are unable to achieve what advertisements have defined as a successful life. 

The spiritual perspective is a bit different. In the Science of Mind Management book, Swamiji explained that when the mind becomes attached to material things, it creates the desire to access these pleasures repeatedly. When our desires are fulfilled, the mind craves for more, leading to greed. Greed for material advancement is an endless chase and a colossal waste of time because when unfulfilled, it arouses anger. In either situation, the mind continues to contemplate on the objects of desire, further strengthening the degree of material attachment. Neither greed nor anger result in contentment because our hankering for material pleasures remains unsatisfied. 

Our worldly attachment and the sense of proprietorship keeps us entangled to our actions and their outcomes. Even in seva or service, we become attached to the results and experience pleasure or distress because our happiness is tied to victories and defeats in our internal world. 

Jagadguru Kripalu ji Maharaj says that we keep searching for happiness in the wrong direction. We have turned our consciousness away from God in ignorance (i.e., become vimukh). Hence, God’s material energy or Maya troubles the soul and we do not experience true happiness. If our intellect is convinced of our identity as the soul, it will search for the source of true bliss by turning toward God (i.e., become sanmukh) and find the bliss which will satiate us. 

How can We Find Contentment in Life?

Instead of giving up all desires, it is important to focus on noble desires that uplift the soul, but also detach from worldly desires that downgrade the soul. Here are some ways to find contentment in life. While not exhaustive by any means, these are intended to illustrate examples of sources for contentment.  

1. Seek strength of purpose from reading biographies of inspirational people and seek opportunities to surround yourself with positive, uplifting and contented people.
2. Choose to be happy in whatever you do – pursue a career, raise a family, connect with friends, etc. Remember that pain is inevitable, but misery is an option. 
3. Feel contented with your life – the food you get to eat, the family members you have, your living situation, etc. with the attitude that they are good for my internal growth (except in abusive situations). Give up chasing unrealistic dreams.
4. If you are able to make ends meet, keep your material desires in check. If you are able to live a life of moderate to high luxury, feel good about yourself by helping those who are less fortunate.
5. Striving for perfection is great but do not be so obsessed with it that you make yours and others' life miserable. Shoot for high goals but be happy with your effort even if the results are contrary to your expectation. 
6. We all have two radio stations in our mind – channel P that broadcasts positive messages and channel N that broadcasts negative messages. If we repeatedly listen to channel P, then our mind will mostly generate uplifting thoughts.
7. Find time to also contemplate on the purpose of life and the extent of attachment vs. detachment to spiritual vs. material goals. 
8. Experience pleasure in engaging in seva or service without the need for recognition. 
9. In whatever activity you do, put in the best effort but be satisfied with the outcome because it is not in our hands. 
10. Make time (at least 1 hour daily) for any spiritual activity that uplifts the soul – reading or listening to scriptural knowledge, chanting, meditation, and contemplation. Make self-improvement a goal of your life. 
11. When challenges are presented, accept those too as experiences that shape and test the extent to which we are truly contented in life.