Learn to Practice Detachment

What Does Detachment Mean? 

The term “detachment” has been described in different ways depending upon one’s professional background. The dictionary meaning of detachment is to disassociate or disconnect from something or someone to enable an objective or neutral viewpoint. Neutrality is important for an equipoised mind and a balanced perspective. Some psychologists who are grounded in the pathological model, have defined detachment as an inability to make emotional connections with people. Others grounded in a strengths-based perspective, have described it as a process of letting go of past experiences and future expectations. Detachment is not about letting others take charge of your life, running away from distress, or becoming dispassionate about our environment. It is about focusing more on the present moment, the efforts we make to achieve an outcome, but not becoming attached to the outcome itself. 

Swami Mukundananda presents the spiritual perspective, which defines detachment as taking the mind away from the material world – the objects and people to whom it is attached. The material mind experiences pleasure when it has access to the sources of attachment and feels miserable upon its loss. Whether we experience pleasure or misery at any moment in time, the experience itself is a creation of the mind due to repeated contemplation on material things as sources of bliss or misery. 

Detachment is about truly understanding that there is neither happiness nor distress in the material world. It is about accepting miseries as an integral part of life instead of running away from sorrow. The key is to be neutral, i.e., equipoised as if there was no difference between events that produce pleasure and pain. When our intellect is convinced about this truth, then the mind will automatically become detached. 

Why Should We Learn to Practice Detachment from all that we Love? 

We have only one mind – it can either be attached to the worldly objects or to the divine. Jagadguru Kripalu ji Maharaj has explained that the mind should not become attached to the worldly things either out of love, or out of hatred; both types of attachments are harmful for the soul because they make the mind more worldly. Detachment is about experiencing neither love nor hatred. 

There are many benefits of practicing detachment from worldly objects and actions. A few of the benefits are presented here. 

• The mind is the cause for bondage and liberation. In the 7 Mindsets for Success, Happiness and Fulfillment, Swamiji says that detachment from material objects leads to release from maya or God’s material energy. By attaching the mind to God and practicing detachment from the material world, we will be able to move forward on the path of devotion. 
• When we become attached to the material objects (e.g., wealth) or people (e.g., family members), separation or loss from these sources has the potential to devastate our lives unless we have a true Guru’s support and guidance. 
• We become attached to the outcomes of our actions or karmas because we believe that the results will be a source of pleasure or joy. When the outcomes are not according to our expectation, we experience stress, anxiety, tension, and fear. However, detachment from results of our actions, frees us from such negative emotions. Lord Krishna beautifully explains to Arjun the importance of detachment from results of actions and to perform his duties with neutrality and equipoise:

सुखदु:खे समे कृत्वा लाभालाभौ जयाजयौ |
ततो युद्धाय युज्यस्व नैवं पापमवाप्स्यसि || 38||

sukha-duḥkhe same kṛitvā lābhālābhau jayājayau
tato yuddhāya yujyasva naivaṁ pāpam avāpsyasi

Fight for the sake of duty, treating alike happiness and distress, loss and gain, victory and defeat. Fulfilling your responsibility in this way, you will never incur sin [Bhagavad Gita 2.38].

• Decreased negative emotions will more likely improve our overall performance. When the mind is focused on the efforts alone, we tend to work with increased calm, balance, and poise.
• Finally, because we are tiny fragments of the all-pure and omniscient God, our (the soul’s) search for divine bliss will continue across lifetimes until God-realization. By attaching the mind to God and detaching it from the material world, the soul’s journey toward the ultimate goal can be shortened in the span of time.  

How Should We Learn To Practice Detachment?

1. Pursue True Knowledge of the Scriptures. An increase in the depth of Vedic knowledge will lead to increased faith, and strong faith will lead to devotion and love for God. When the mind becomes attached to God, detachment from the material world will be a natural and automatic process. 
2. Accept that the Material World is Temporary. When we develop the mindset that everything that we possess (e.g., wealth, relatives, knowledge, etc.), belongs to God and is given to us as a gift to enhance our soul’s journey toward God-realization. Even the gross body is not ours. The only thing that is ours (or what we are), is the divine soul in search for the bliss of its supreme master.
3. Feel Grateful Divine Graces and Gifts from God. When we recognize that everything in this material world is temporary and could be taken away from us at any time, we will learn to value and feel grateful for what we possess. Gratitude for what God has given to us out of His causeless mercy and grace, will help to detach from the worldly desires or not pine for what we do not possess. 
4. Believe that Difficulties are a Blessing in Disguise. When the intellect is firmly convinced that challenges in life are blessings in disguise designed to help us grow internally, our perception toward obstacles will change. We will contemplate on God’s purpose behind presenting such situations to us. Difficulties help us to internalize that there is no real happiness in the material world, thereby increasing our detachment. That said, it is important to remember that detachment must be real – not like “shamshan vairagya,” where grief results in temporary detachment but the mind is reattached to the material world when it returns to its mayadheen state. 
5. Associate with a True Guru. The power of associating with genuine saints and a true Guru cannot be explained in words. In the 7 Divine Laws to Awaken Your Best Self, Swamiji says that “…. true saints are like fireballs of God-consciousness. It cannot happen that we associate with them, and we do not experience detachment from the mundane or attachment to the divine.” Detachment of the soul from fallible desires is an evidence not only that the mind is becoming more attached to the divine realm, but also of the transformational power of a saint or true Guru. 
6. Practice True Karma Yog. We have all been afflicted by self-serving needs over infinite lifetimes. Thus, it is very difficult to be selfless when performing actions even if they are devotional in nature. One way to learn to detach the mind from the outcomes of our actions is to understand how the mind functions. Swamiji explains that no one can remain without engaging in an action for even a moment (Bhagavad Gita 3.5). Thus, if we learn to perform worldly duties while keeping the mind attached to God (Bhagavad Gita 3.7), the mind will be freed from the laws of karma. A true yogi does not discriminate between gain or loss, happiness or sorrow, friend or foe, and maintains detachment and equanimity. Detachment from outcomes purifies our intention because the actions are done for the pleasure of God.
7. Be Patient when Practicing Detachment. Our material mind is more difficult to control than the wind, thus we must be patient with ourselves and not expect overnight results.  As Tao Lao Tzu said, “Even the journey of a thousand miles will begin with a single step.”