Learn to be Resilient

What is Resilience?

The word resilience is derived from the Latin term resilire, which means to recoil or rebound. It is the ability to quickly adapt and recover from traumatic and tragic events in life. For example, losing a loved one, losing your home in a natural disaster, or losing a job. It even includes ongoing events like being caught in the middle of mass shooting, experiencing poverty, financial stress, a pandemic, racial discrimination or bullying in the workplace, etc. Swamiji defines resilience as the ability to rebound readily after being bent over by adversity, illness, and calamity. 

Resilience is not about emotional detachment from events, but about the extent of flexibility and adaptability in the face of unpredictable external challenges. It is also not about one’s staying power in abusive situations. Being resilient does not mean that a person will not experience stress; it is about how well people manage stressful events based on their mindset, attitude, and life experiences. 

It is important to develop resilience because it enables us to withstand and overcome trauma than to become overwhelmed and incapacitated. Developing resilience helps to maintain a sense of equilibrium in the face of stressful events―to rise from the ashes like the legendary phoenix. Specifically, in relation to ongoing challenges in the work environment, developing resilience can help to prevent burnout, experience greater job satisfaction, contribute to a sense of purpose, and improve relationships with colleagues.

What Factors Contribute to Resilience?

A variety of factors contribute to developing resilience including stable environmental supports and personal characteristics. While the extent of impact that these factors play on minimizing risk and increasing resilience may differ across age groups, gender, and cultures, it is generally agreed that these facilitate inner resilience. 

1. A Strong Social Support Network. Supportive family relationships are crucial for a sense of well-being and resiliency. In fact, this is one of the most fundamental contributors of resilience in children and adults. People who feel loved, supported, and cared for by their family members, are more resilient when compared to those who lack family support. Research has shown that individuals who experience conditions of abject poverty, domestic abuse, violence and grief from the loss of a parent, tend to be resilient when they have reliable social support from friends or adults outside the family.
2. Ability to Problem-Solve. Cognitive competence is critical to comprehend the seriousness of the challenge, reframe the problem, objectively assess one’s ability to problem-solve, and find viable solutions when facing a traumatic event. These traits are highly correlated with resilience. Intelligence is a protective factor in that people with higher intellectual capacity have deeper insight into the cause of stressors, are able to foresee the consequences of different options, and choose effective problem-solving strategies. They have a clearer perception of the severity of the problem, are better at self-assessment of skills needed to problem-solve and have good judgement about when to seek outside assistance. 
3. Ability to Execute the Solutions with Confidence. Self-efficacy and self-esteem are highly correlated with resilience based on existing research in this area. The confidence that develops from having faced problems squarely and being successful at overcoming failure, contributes to resiliency. Those who tend to escape problems through inaction, are unable to restore self-confidence at the end of a traumatic experience. In comparison, individuals with a higher sense of self, are able to quickly restore self-efficacy in executing procedures needed to overcome challenges. 
4. Self-Regulation of Emotions. Self-regulation is an important characteristic for success in life. The ability to control negative thoughts, emotions and impulses, is associated with more resilience. Longitudinal studies with children raised in poverty and low social status, have documented a positive correlation between resiliency and self-regulation, coping, an internal locus of control, optimism, and empathy. Resilient children are more likely to manage adverse conditions, show better social skills, have hope for better outcomes, and find acceptance in prosocial groups.  
5. Ability to Choose Positive Thoughts. Individuals who truly believe that struggles in life make them resilient and more capable of problem-solving, are more likely to choose positive and inspirational thoughts, draw upon their faith, and be determined to withstand stressful events. They resist ruminating on the negative thoughts and move forward having learned important lessons about themselves and life. 
6. The Practice of Spirituality. There are a cluster of factors associated with what motivates people to rely on spiritual beliefs to direct their efforts to find effective solutions during challenging times. These are associated with the knowledge on how to build a relationship with God and Guru, understand the purpose in life, and faithfully implement spiritual practices that increase the ability to withstand, adapt and overcome challenges. Those who practice spirituality, perceive hardships as a blessing from God and an opportunity for inner growth through austerity of the mind. This mindset promotes resiliency.

How does Spirituality Increase Resilience?

Developing resilience through spirituality is an individual journey unique to each person. However, there is evidence to support that people respond to stressful events much better if they are grounded in spirituality. Swamiji has taught us the power of spiritual beliefs when drawing upon one’s inner strength to deal with problems, and why God sends challenges in our life:

1. Teach us mental austerities. Internal growth is enhanced when we step outside our comfort zone and tolerate discomfort. Thus, we should perceive these as a blessing in disguise. If we do not experience challenges, we will become complacent and stop remembering God and His endless graces. We can choose to think like Kunti Devi who asked Shree Krishna for difficulties so the Pandavas would be blessed with His presence, protection and divine grace. 
2. Enable evolution of the soul. Difficulties teach us lessons that are necessary for the evolution of the soul. As we navigate through life with the purpose of accepting His will, our humility and gratitude will lead to ultimate spiritual perfection which is the true source of inner happiness.

मन: प्रसाद: सौम्यत्वं मौनमात्मविनिग्रह: |
भावसंशुद्धिरित्येतत्तपो मानसमुच्यते || 16||

Manah-prasadah saumyatvam maunam atma-vinigrahah
Bhava-sanshuddhir ity etat tapo manasam uchyate

Serenity of thought, gentleness, silence, self-control, and purity of purpose—all these are declared as the austerity of the mind. [Bhagavad Gita 17.16]

3. Strengthen our spiritual beliefs. If we believe in the Law of Karma that there is never injustice in God’s court, and the difficulties are the fruits of our own karmas, then instead of running away from challenges or complaining about them, we will learn to accept these as a grace of God.
4. Need for divine grace. We need to recognize that we do not have the ability to control everything in life. Only in a state of helplessness, we realize that nothing other than divine grace will work. It is then that our faith in God and Guru increases. We must believe that they are causelessly merciful and whoever seeks their shelter, will receive divine grace. The divine grace could manifest in ways other than what or how we expect, but it is still grace. This belief increases resilience.
5. Establish a strong foundation of internal spiritual growth. Just like bamboo that takes years to strengthen its roots before shooting up to 80 feet or higher, the challenges we experience help us to establish a strong foundation of faith, devotion, purposeful existence and the courage to face challenges.
6. Detach from outcomes of actions. To accept that God and Guru know what is best for each one of us at all times. Thus, we must accept the wisdom that only the effort toward problem-solving is in our hands but not the outcome. As Shree Krishna explained to Arjun:

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन |
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि || 47 ||

karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana
mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi

You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction. [Bhagavad Gita 2.47]

 

7. Attitude of gratitude. Challenges help us to learn to be grateful that what we are experiencing is not as bad as what many others are facing. An attitude of gratitude―an essential aspect of spirituality, helps to develop sublime qualities like faith, devotion and inner resilience.  
8. Develop positive characteristics. Hardships teach us life lessons that we would not have learned otherwise. We learn positive characteristics like anticipating problems, putting problems in proper perspective, gathering courage, drawing upon one’s inner strength, making the effort to face and solve problems bravely. These enable us to be more resilient with time and experience.