Have you ever found yourself reeling from an insult? That sudden sting from a few words can pierce through your composure.
It is natural to recoil from such encounters, especially when the words linger like an unwelcome shadow in the back of your mind. But what if you could view these moments as opportunities to reframe your narrative and emerge stronger? Picture standing firm in the face of adversity, feeling empowered rather than defeated! Let's embark on this journey together, and turn pain into progress, adversity into advantage.
Bathing in Gratitude: A Lesson from Saint Eknath
Imagine you are standing in front of a river. You are feeling the cool water caress your skin, when a stranger approaches and spits in your face. How would you respond? Most people would lash out with anger in self-defence or walk away humiliated. But, when this very situation unfolded for the legendary saint Eknath, he responded with awe-inspiring wisdom.
One day, Eknath took a holy dip in the sacred Narmada. When he was returning from the river bank, a Pathan filled with hatred in his heart confronted him and spat on his face.
However, instead of the obvious reaction, Eknath joyfully sang the praise of the Lord, exclaiming "Jai Ho Vithal Bhagwan!" and returned to the Narmada. Each time Eknath had a bath, the Pathan spat on him. Yet, Eknath simply glorified the Lord and went back to the river to bathe again.
As the day wore on and the Pathan’s relentless spitting attempts failed to agitate the saint, exhaustion began to show on his face. Astounded by the saint’s unshakable peace, finally, he asked, "Are you made of stone or wood? I have been spitting on you the whole day. How come you are not angry at me?"
Eknath replied, "You are my benefactor! You have given me endless chances to purify myself with holy dips in the Narmada today."
Saint Eknath’s mind was clear: the insult was not a personal attack. This moment presented a golden opportunity for him to cleanse the various maladies of the heart, such as anger, fear, jealousy, hatred, and so on. Thus, viewing it as a blessing in disguise, Eknath bathed in gratitude.
The next time someone hurls unkind words your way, just pause for a few breaths. Instead of recoiling or retaliating, could you view it as a “moment for cleansing the soul?”
Embrace Criticism: Tulsidas' Wisdom
Tulsidas, the celebrated saint and author of the Ramcharitmanas, echoes a similar sentiment in his famous couplet:
निंदक नियरे राखिए, आंगन कुटी छवाय, बिन पानी, साबुन बिना, निर्मल करे सुभाय |
“Find a critic who insults you repeatedly and keep him in your courtyard. Put a tilak on his forehead, respect him, and see how your heart becomes purified without soap and water.”
At first glance, this advice may seem counterintuitive. Why would we seek out criticism, especially from those who insult us repeatedly? However, Tulsidas ji’s wisdom lies in recognizing that true purification of the mind doesn't come from praise we seek, but from responding to adversity with grace.
When someone criticizes us, our natural instinct is to defend ourselves, prove them wrong, or harbor resentment. But Tulsidas encourages a different response: embrace the criticism you receive and let it cleanse your heart.
Instead of dodging confrontations, recognize that even your harshest critic; the one who calls you out on every mistake, every flaw, can play a crucial role in your journey towards purification. By letting go of defensiveness, you can transcend your initial reaction and create space for growth.
This shift in perspective allows us to invite criticism into our lives as a teacher, helping us to become better versions of ourselves. We then begin to see criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection and improvement.
Could you allow yourself to see a critic as a benefactor of your growth rather than an adversary?
The Power of Forgiveness: A Gift to Yourself
At the heart of this transformative journey lies forgiveness, a concept often misunderstood. Forgiveness is not about excusing wrongdoing but a conscious decision to release the ego's desire for revenge. This liberates your heart from the chains of resentment and allows you to embrace a deeper wisdom that goes beyond immediate pain.
Take the case of Ratan Tata, the former chairman of the Tata Group. In 1999, Tata had a vision to create India's first indigenous car, the Indica. However, within a year, it became clear that the project was not performing well, leading Tata to put the car factory up for sale. At that time, Ford Motors expressed interest in purchasing the factory.
Ratan Tata flew to Detroit with his board to meet with Bill Ford and his team. However, during this pivotal meeting, Bill Ford, the CEO of Ford Motors, questioned Tata's knowledge of the car business, delivering a stinging insult. Ratan tata remained silent. He withdrew the thought of selling his car business and flew back to India. Without letting Ford’s dismissive remarks rattle his mind, he focused on strengthening Tata Motors. Eventually, he transformed it into a world-class business, producing some of the most renowned and best-selling brands in the industry.
The tables, however, turned dramatically in 2008, when Ford Motors found itself on the brink of bankruptcy. Its prestigious Jaguar and Land Rover brands were suffering significant financial losses, putting the entire company at risk. At this critical time, Tata Motors stepped in with an offer to acquire these struggling brands. In a moment of humility, Bill Ford recognized Tata’s generosity, admitting that he was doing him a favor by making this purchase.
Ratan Tata could have retaliated for his past insult, but instead, he chose to apply a simple yet profound principle: if there is a line drawn and you want to make it smaller, you don't have to erase it; you simply draw a bigger line beside it. So, if someone has hurt you, the best response is to become even better. This is the most positive way to repay the hurt.
In living this principle, Tata chose to extend kindness to the very person who had once belittled him. Rather than succumbing to bitterness, he let his achievements speak for themselves. His silence was not a sign of weakness, but a deliberate decision to transcend the negativity and forge a legacy of dignity and determination.
Beyond Bitterness: The Art of Letting Go
Nothing helps overcome emotional hurts more effectively than pardoning the offender. The other may not necessarily deserve it. But, by choosing to forgive, you not only liberate your mind but also open the door to a brighter, more peaceful future.
The example of Draupadi from the Mahabharat brings this wisdom to life.
When Ashwathama brutally killed her five sons, Draupadi's response was extraordinary. Despite Arjun's offer to avenge her sons' death by killing Ashwathama, Draupadi chose a different path. She explained that revenge is motivated by inner frustration and would only lead to more suffering.
Having lost her own five sons, Draupadi empathized with the potential grief Ashwathama's mother would face if she lost her son. With remarkable compassion, Draupadi urged Arjun to release Ashwathama. By choosing to forgive, Draupadi liberated her mind, creating space for peace, clarity, and closure.
Another remarkable example is the life of Nelson Mandela.
For decades, apartheid had plagued South Africa, and Mandela was at the forefront of the movement against it. His dedication cost him 27 years of imprisonment where he endured hard labor, physical abuse, and lasting injuries. Yet, when he came out of jail, there was no trace of bitterness on his face.
In an interview, when asked about his feelings after the long ordeal, Mandela shared a profound lesson: "I realized that I will need to throw away resentment completely to do the work that I am ordained to do by God."
By forgiving his oppressors, Mandela not only released himself from negativity but also became a beacon of hope and reconciliation for an entire nation.
The stories of Draupadi and Nelson Mandela reveal a deep truth: forgiveness is a choice—one that requires courage, compassion, and a willingness to let go of the past.
So, will you choose to hold onto bitterness, or will you choose to forgive and be free?
Unchain Your Heart: Why Letting Go Matters
Letting go of past grievances is essential for fostering a forgiving heart. However, practicing forgiveness is not always easy. So, how can you begin to embrace this mindset? One of the best ways to inspire yourself to forgive is to remind yourself of its benefits and the drawbacks of ignoring it.
● Positive Health Outcomes
Practicing forgiveness is linked to increased hope, happiness, reduced anger, consequently resulting in lower blood pressure, and improved cardiovascular health.
● Cost of Resentment
As the saying goes, "Harboring bitterness is like drinking poison, hoping it will harm the other.” Resentment can poison your heart, leading to inner turmoil and even physical consequences like digestive issues, skin problems, and other health concerns.
● Healing Relationships
Forgiveness fosters empathy and can repair broken relationships. Even if you part ways, it helps you move on with compassion and acceptance.
● Breaking Emotional Chains and Reclaiming Control
Forgiveness allows you to regain control over your emotions and shed the victim mentality. Choosing to forgive allows you to release emotional burdens, leading to a more peaceful existence.
● Universal Wisdom and Gift of Inner Peace
Ultimately, choosing to forgive is a gift you give yourself. Spiritual teachers across traditions emphasize forgiveness as a path to serenity and freedom.
Forgotten in the Sand, Remembered in Stone
As we integrate these timeless principles into our lives, we can learn valuable lessons from everyday experiences and stories. One such poignant tale of forgiveness and gratitude is the story of two friends, Govind and Gopal.
Two friends, Govind and Gopal, were walking in the countryside when they had an argument, leading Govind to slap Gopal. Instead of reacting angrily, Gopal calmly wrote in the sand, "My friend Govind slapped me today." Later, when Gopal got stuck in a quagmire, Govind bravely turned his shirt into a rope and pulled him to safety. In gratitude, Gopal took a stone and wrote, "My friend Govind saved my life today."
When Govind asked about the contrast writing in stone versus sand, Gopal explained, "When someone wrongs us, we should write it in sand so that it fades away. But when someone does something good, we should engrave it in stone, so we always remember their kindness.
Embrace Your Journey to New Beginnings
Just like Draupadi, Saint Eknath, Ratan Tata, and Gopal, you too can choose to let go of past hurts and focus on the good. Here is how you can start:
1. Let Go of the Past: Make a conscious decision to stop reliving your grievances. Acknowledge what has happened and choose to focus on the future.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts: Commit to not rehashing your hurts, not just in conversations with others, but also in your inner dialogue. This practice can help you loosen the grip of negativity and allow new, positive experiences to enter your life.
3. Cultivate Empathy: Whenever you find yourself stuck in anger or resentment, take a moment to consider the other person’s perspective. Understanding that everyone has their own struggles can shift your feelings from hurt to compassion.
4. Reflect on Your Imperfections: Remember that you too have made mistakes. Use these reflections to foster forgiveness towards others. Embrace the idea that to err is human—acknowledge it in yourself to forgive it in others.
5. Adopt a Growth Mindset: Whenever you face suffering, ask yourself what lessons you can learn from it. Transform your pain into a stepping stone for personal growth.
Explore more in this video:
Conclusion
With this in mind, let us conclude our reflections on the essence of forgiveness.
Every emotional wound, no matter how painful, can serve as a profound lesson. Each pain can become a blessing in disguise. The journey towards forgiveness may be challenging, but it is a crucial sign of spiritual growth and self-purification. As you practice forgiveness consistently, it will eventually become second nature. Imagine the freedom you will feel when you truly let go; that moment signifies a spiritual awakening. So, walk the path towards forgiveness and watch your life blossom.
Call to Action
Revisit and reinforce your learnings with this engaging video recap: How To Deal with People Who Are Negative Towards You? | Swami Mukundananda.
Accelerate your growth further by joining Swami Mukundananda Exclusive Community to connect with Swamiji regularly and learn from him from the comfort of your home.
Resources
Specific Videos:
● How to Deal with Insults and Unfair Criticisms Like a Yogi? | Swami Mukundananda
● How to Handle Insults In Positive Way - Swami Mukundananda
Reading Resources:
● Rupa Publications India (15 November 2022) Golden Rules for Living Your Best Life.
● Rupa Publications India; Special Edition (5 October 2023) 7 Divine Laws to Awaken Your Best Self.