Bhakti is a widely used word in Indian spirituality and religion. Most of us believe ourselves to be a ‘bhakt’, a devotee of Radha Krishna or Sita Ram or Shiv and Parvati. Yet, few of us take the time to truly understand the depth of the meaning contained in the word ‘bhakti.’

The word bhakti is derived from the Sanskrit word bhaj meaning ‘to serve.’ We happily serve those we love. If we are asked to serve a stranger, we do not hesitate to say no. And yet if we are asked to do the same for someone we love, we jump right on it without a moment’s hesitation. We do not look forward to serving someone we don’t like while this is certainly not true for our loved ones. Just ask a mother how much she longs to shower her affection on her children even after they’ve grown up and left the house!

This desire to serve happily stems from the attachment that a mother has for a son or a husband has for his wife or friends who are close have towards each other. The attachment, in turn, stems from the thought, ‘He/she is mine!’ For example, the mother thinks of the adult young man not as a young man but as ‘her child.’

Unfortunately, the attachment to our loved ones in the material world only succeeds in tying us to the 8.4 million species of life. If only we could redirect this attachment to Radha Krishna, would the true purpose of our life on earth be fulfilled. In order to accomplish this, we must first start with the thought, ‘Only God and Guru are mine.’ As this thought grows and gets stamped in our heart, mind, and soul, so will the ensuing attachment.

Luckily for us, Krishna desires only one thing from us—unconditional, selfless love—and allows us to select the nature of the relationship i.e. we can love him as a servant loves his master (dāsya bhāv), as friends love each other (sakhya bhāv), as a parent loves a child (vātsalya bhāv), or as one loves their beloved (mādhurya bhāv). Let’s try to understand each of these sentiments in more detail before determining the most appropriate one for us.

Dāsya bhāv

Dāsya bhāv is the sentiment that the Lord is our master and we are the servant. There are boundaries and formalities to be maintained in this relationship. The servant does as ordered because the master takes care of him/her. Shree Maharajji is known to have said that this was the hardest relationship to maintain as it is laden with rules and regulations to be followed very precisely. He gives the example of Laxman following Sita and Ram in the forest during the exile years. As a servant, while walking, Laxman could not place his feet on the footprints of Sita or Ram that were before him. Think about this. How many times during the day do we stop to look at where we are placing our foot while walking? Now imagine trying to do this with every step everyday for 14 years without thinking about it! This is how much Laxman revered Sita Ram and spent 14 years of his life in the forest with them.

Sakhya bhāv

Sakhya bhāv is higher than dāsya bhāv because as friends there is a certain level of closeness we can have with Krishna. Walls that exist in dāsya bhāv come down as we play with our friends or tease them or protect them. This was the sentiment of Sudhama with whom Krishna attended the gurukul of Guru Sandipani. As friends, the gopasof Braj would sit on Krishna as he pretended to be a horse and kick him in the stomach. None of us can think of doing this when we think of Krishna as the almighty God! And yet, among friends no one thinks anything of such behavior.

Vātsalya bhāv

Next higher up is the vātsalya bhāv. This is the sentiment of loving Krishna as a parent or a teacher. The sentiment of thinking of Krishna as our father falls in this category. It is considered a more intimate relationship than that with friends because there are certain familial rituals and secrets that are just not meant to be shared with the outside world. This, as we are all familiar with, was the sentiment of Yashoda maiya and Nand baba. Yashoda maiya had the right to scold her lala, run after him with a stick, and tie him up. All because she was so much in love with ‘her child.’ Nand baba loved him so much and Krishna had to reciprocate so much so that when Nand baba would tell Krishna to bring him his slippers, little Krishna would respectfully place them on his head and bring them to his father. Can anyone imagine God placing someone else’s footwear on his head and walking with them? And yet he does so for love.

Mādhurya bhāv

The highest of all these is the mādhurya bhāv—exhibited not only by the famous gopis of Braj as we all know but also by Kubja, Draupadi, and the queens of Dwaraka. However, there was a distinction amongst their love which is explained as follows:

Sakam prem

Sakam prem or selfish love, also called Sadharani Rati Bhakti, like that of Kubja and Draupadi was geared towards their happiness alone. Please help me with this or that or something else is the overarching thought. ‘Me, my, mine’ is the focus here. As you can see this is a selfish kind of love. The underlying thought here is that ‘I am His’ or ‘I belong to Krishna.’

Sakam-Nishkam prem

Next higher up was the love of Rukmini and the queens of Dwaraka geared towards mutual happiness for both of them. This is called Sakam-Nishkam prem or Samanjasa Rati Bhakti. There is a constant ‘give and take’ in this relationship. The thought process here is ‘Let’s do what works for both of us so that you are also happy and I am also happy.’ Sounds familiar?

Nishkam prem

Samaratha Rati Bhakti or nishkam prem (completely selfless love) like that of the gopis of Braj was geared towards nothing but Krishna’s happiness and is the highest form of mādhurya bhāv. This is what Sage Narad espoused as ‘tat sukh sukhitvam’ in the Narad Bhakti Darshan. Krishna was their beloved and he could do no wrong because the underlying thought was ‘He is mine.’ Every thought, every sentiment, every act of theirs was in devotion to Him and Him alone (ananya bhakti) for 24 hours a day, everyday (nirantar bhakti). Radha Rani is the epitomy of this sentiment. This is the true love that we must aspire for.

Having understood the different kinds of attachment we can develop, let’s aspire for the highest—nishkammādhurya bhāv—to fulfill the purpose of this human life bestowed upon us.