Developing equanimity in opposing circumstances is one of the first challenges in the spiritual journey. Shri Krishna mentions in the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 12, verses 13-19) that devotees who are equipoised in all situations are very dear to Him. Being equipoised in all situations frees us from the limitations of our own likes and dislikes and in this way enables us to render selfless service.
Equanimity must at first be practiced in an ongoing manner every day and then by the grace of God gets transformed into true spiritual equanimity.
We must first understand what equanimity is not.
When we encounter difficult situations or people, it is tempting to either become defensive or run away from them. Some people become indifferent to their God-given duties or apathetic to difficult people. Others adopt an attitude of pride out of anger — i.e. “Nothing can affect me!” — and go on to become difficult people themselves. However, neither of these responses characterizes equanimity. It is the nature of the mind to throw up reasons to not participate fully in the activity of living and working with all people under all circumstances. Similarly, when we encounter favorable situations, our mind gets energized by the high of achieving what we desired, and then we become greedy. Apathy, anger, elation, greed and indifference arise from an attachment to desired outcomes for our efforts in professional, social and personal situations.
The spiritual journey calls us to transform our responses to life such that these outcomes cease to affect us. Most of our instinctive reactions to people and circumstances are learned reactions that we have developed over years of choosing our response to that specific person or circumstance. Some people choose a positive response and some choose a negative response – the important thing to realize is that we chose that response and nobody else. This can be hard to swallow at first, because the mind has a tendency to blame circumstances for our lot in life. Blaming an external entity allows us the comfort of not taking personal responsibility for the things that we can control, such as our own efforts to be the change we want to see. Therefore the first step in developing equanimity is always choosing how to respond correctly in every situation.
This is where the power of intellect can be used over the mind’s tendency to fight or flee. Between fight and flight there is always a right response. Stephen Covey, author of the famous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, mentions the importance of responding to a situation based on an internal value rather than an external stimulus, such as a difficult colleague or family member. Over time, this enables us to slowly expand our ability to function optimally irrespective of external situations. It is easy to see how this can contribute to developing equanimity when practiced daily. Someone who has a value of working well without a selfish motive will always give her best, whether or not her office colleagues are favorable. Her contentment lies in doing a good job, which is her chosen value.
So what are the values that we must adopt on this journey? It is important to carefully develop one’s values in accordance with spiritual knowledge, and for this the practice of Karm Yog comes to mind. However, we will explore how to apply this toward the goal of achieving equanimity with all people and situations in part 2 of this article. Stay tuned!
